Confessions of a Kept Husband

It was a very sad day for our little household here in London (Ontario Canada, not England – just to clear up any confusion). They closed our Tim Horton’s, and there’s very little I can do about it.

For those of you who are not Canadian, Tim Horton’s is a coffee house franchise that has reached almost religious status in regards to the fanaticism of it’s patrons. The phrase “double double” (meaning two creams, two sugars) was actually entered into the Oxford Canadian dictionary a few years back. It was a place to hang out, meet friends, and all for the low low price of about $1.25 for a coffee and $0.90 for a donut. Suffice to say, my wife and I used to hang out there a lot.

Interesting little tidbit – London is the Tim Horton’s capital of the world. I’m not joking. There are more Tim Horton’s in London Ontario per capita than anywhere else in the world. But the problem is, the one they closed was the only one we could really walk to. And we don’t own a car. There is one we could walk to, but it’s owned by the same person who closed our location and I’m mad at them and don’t want to give them the business.

Since this is a little petty even for me, I began to realize that somewhere along the way I started thinking that it was all about me. I was mad at them closing the Tim Horton’s because it was my Tim Horton’s. But really, what were they supposed to do? Lose money hand over fist so that I wouldn’t have to get my coffee somewhere else? And it wasn’t just the Tim Horton’s either. I thought seriously about calling the police on my neighbours because they were having a really loud party. It was 3 in the afternoon (I didn’t by the way. I’m not that bad. Yet.).

When did I become this guy? I thought that when you had kids you were supposed to realize your place in the world. Suddenly it isn’t all about you. There is a constant reminder that you are not alone in this universe. But then I realize that all this bullshit I picked up about how children change you was wrong. They do change you, but not necessarily in the ways you expect.

My son is usually well tempered, but he can throw a massive fit with the best of them when things don’t go his way. And not in the “I wanted to go to the park but instead you took me to the grocery store” kind of way. More of the “Screw the laws of physics, they shouldn’t apply to me” kind of way. He believes that things should work a certain way, and doesn’t even consider that he might be wrong. This results in him starting to cry if he can’t fit a 8 inch remote control throught the ¾ inch neck of a pop bottle. And he’ll try for hours to get that stupid remote into things it was never meant to go into. Why? Because in his world, everything is about him. Things should work the way he wants them to. He’s too young yet to understand that often life doesn’t go your way, and sometimes there isn’t really anything you can do about it. To him, anything is and should be possible. With enough effort and crying, that is.

When my son was born I was so worried about how I was going to affect him or how I was going to accidentally screw up his life that I didn’t notice how he was changing me. My attitude is different. I am quicker to see injustices. Most of all, I am quicker to question why something is the way it is. I’m not sure yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Obviously, questioning assumptions is a useful thing to put into practice. However, sometimes it’s just easier to find another coffee house.

August 26th, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL